Ina/Murphy

The images were, to say the least, startling and mesmerizing. It was so clear! There on the screen, in a dark little room with a sweet student technician, I saw my baby for the first time. And I could tell that it was my baby! There was a head, and legs, and arms with precious little hands, and a mouth that would not stay closed. (Definitely mine.) I saw a spine and ribs and a tossing, turning little bundle of Ina/Murphy, and suddenly I didn’t really care whether it was a he or a she. That was my baby! And it was perfect.

Why I Never Intend to Marry

More than one man in this world thinks I’m crazy. Most of the time, I would have to agree. But lately, clarity rules in ways that are mystifying…and terrifying.

Strangely, pregnancy seems to both magnify and subdue my usual rants and tantrums. The words are more bitter, the reactions quicker and more fierce. At the same time, my blood pressure remains neutral, and a shocking lack of physical symptoms accompanies my outbursts. It is as though my emotions are reserved only for this tiny life inside me, and only my thoughts and words carry venom.

My Perfect Love and Pain

Carter became mysteriously ill. It wasn’t the first time I’d thought him close to death–and unfortunately, it would not be the last–but it was the first time I was dealing with it completely alone. The new vet was far away, and night had set in, as had his lethargy and vomiting. I didn’t sleep at all that night, watching and waiting for a sign that he might snap out of it.

Catsup, or Catsoup?

I find myself playing a game of catch-up in the story that is my life. This would be a mundane task for a Saturday night, had my life not advanced several years in the past week!

Progress, and Regress

It was lately pointed out to me that, for a woman of action, I spend an awful lot of time pondering what might be, instead of actually doing anything to bring it about. (The boxes in the hall bear witness with their not yet installed ceiling fans and pedestal sinks.) In many ways, my life is not so much a life, but a series of theories.

When it comes to Graples (or any job, really) I am somewhat efficient, tidy, and proactive. My reputation has been one of a woman who can “get shit done.” As an Operations Manager, I’ve mastered the art of problem-solving by anticipating and heading off concerns. I direct my worries into pre-emptive strikes aimed at making my own life and experience easier. I hate surprises. I do whatever I have to do to avoid them, and am rarely caught off guard.