Ina/Murphy

The images were, to say the least, startling and mesmerizing. It was so clear! There on the screen, in a dark little room with a sweet student technician, I saw my baby for the first time. And I could tell that it was my baby! There was a head, and legs, and arms with precious little hands, and a mouth that would not stay closed. (Definitely mine.) I saw a spine and ribs and a tossing, turning little bundle of Ina/Murphy, and suddenly I didn’t really care whether it was a he or a she. That was my baby! And it was perfect.

Why I Never Intend to Marry

More than one man in this world thinks I’m crazy. Most of the time, I would have to agree. But lately, clarity rules in ways that are mystifying…and terrifying.

Strangely, pregnancy seems to both magnify and subdue my usual rants and tantrums. The words are more bitter, the reactions quicker and more fierce. At the same time, my blood pressure remains neutral, and a shocking lack of physical symptoms accompanies my outbursts. It is as though my emotions are reserved only for this tiny life inside me, and only my thoughts and words carry venom.

The Heaviest of Kittens

Today I journeyed into the rain with two of the sweetest friends I’ve ever had. I carried them in a plastic box, balanced to my side awkwardly like a five gallon bucket of slop in danger of spilling. When we reached our destination, I learned why it was such a struggle to walk with them in tow: Willie is a fattie.

….In my eyes, Little Willie will always be my baby, just as Biscuit will always be a puppy (though I never knew him as one) and Carter will live forever. I love him just the same after today, but the rose-colored glasses have been wrenched from my eyes by a stone-faced doctor who sees only the objective reality in front of him. I am now forced to view Willie as he is: a big cat, and getting bigger in an unhealthy manner. In a way, it is good that I see him today as a big boy. It is time for a new baby to take his place.